New York City, New York: Day 3

(Actual date of visit: April 15-18, 2011)

Day 3 brought us back into the city courtesy of our generous hosts/tour guides, the Cattabiani's.

Cathy, Al & Jack

Our plan was to take the subway into the city, visit the High Line Park, walk over to Doughnut Plant and then go back to Times Square, walk around a bit and then head home.

Cathy and Al were very strategic about how we could get in and get out without killing Andrew walking. I've decided that is exactly why I wouldn't make it in this city. Too much to figure out, too much planning and too many alternatives to consider. Plus I would get lost.

Speaking of getting lost, one of the tour guides on the bus route on Day 1 kept praising the wonders of the "grid system" that makes up the NY streets. I'm not exaggerating, she really got excited about it. And this woman wasn't too happy about anything. The only time she showed any emotion was when she was yelling at us to duck and when she was singing the praises of the grid system. Weird, right?

Anyway, they (meaning all New Yorkers) say once you figure out the grid, you won't get lost. Right. Thanks, but I would be lost and dead in a gutter before someone found me. No. Doubt. About. It.

Where was I? Oh, right going to the High Line. On the way, we stopped and got a real hot dog from a street vendor. Yum. Then we walked over to the High Line Park. Here's a little history about the park from their website (http://www.thehighline.org/about/high-line-history):

The High Line was built in the 1930s, as part of a massive public-private infrastructure project called the West Side Improvement. It lifted freight traffic 30 feet in the air, removing dangerous trains from the streets of Manhattan's largest industrial district. No trains have run on the High Line since 1980. Friends of the High Line, a community-based non-profit group, formed in 1999 when the historic structure was under threat of demolition. Friends of the High Line works in partnership with the City of New York to preserve and maintain the structure as an elevated public park.

At the High Line Park

It was a beautiful, sunny day to walk along the park. Then we hiked over to Doughnut Plant. I saw a show on the Food Network about this place. They have creme brulee donuts. 'Nuff said, we had to check it out. Unfortunately, they were sold out of the creme brulee donuts but I found the coconut cream donut to be just as satisfying. :-)

After our yummy snack we took the subway back up to Rockefeller Center. It was a crude ploy to entice the children to keep going. We were going to visit the Lego store (Andrew's choice) and then M & M World (Kait's bribe, I mean choice).

Adam & Kaitlyn ready for the subway.

All was going well until we got on the subway. There were 10 of us in our group so when we got on the subway car, almost everyone had to stand. I saw a few open seats so I moved up to let more people on and I sat down.

Then two things immediately occurred to me.

First, the awful realization that I had made a terrible mistake by sitting down. The second thing that hit me was the strong perfume of urine.

You know what it's like when you walk through the mall and pass a Bath & Bodyworks store? All you can smell are the overwhelming fragrances competing for space in every single pore in your sinuses?

Yea, it was like that only all the products were made from urine. Urine from an extremely dehydrated person.

I told myself that I was taking one for the team. At least the kids weren't sitting here. However, I am desperately looking at everyone from my group. Pleading with my eyes for some recognition on their part that something just isn't quite kosher with my situation.

Alas, every last one of them are standing with their backs to me while they watch Teresa and Al trying not to fall out of the closing subway doors. (I mean seriously, you people are New Yorkers, you should know better than to lean on the subway doors!)

I turned slightly away from Urine Guy (as I have come to know him) and started chatting with the lady to my left. She asks where we are from and tells us to enjoy the city. Then she leaves. Thanks lady.

Meanwhile, Urine Guy is rocking back and forth trying to get my attention. I know the rules in Crazytown. Don't make eye contact! I'm doing my best and still trying to get the attention of anyone in my group...

Urine Guy is persistent though. He rocks faster and then finally leans forward and turns so he is directly in my face. I think, "Uh oh, here we go." Urine Guy says, "Hi." I say hi back and try to remain cool, calm and collected. Still nothing from my family. Thanks guys!

I'm still doing my best to not engage with Urine Guy. So he decides to escalate things. He actually puts is hand on my arm and starts slowing sliding his hand up my arm! Before I even think about what to do, I calmly swipe his hand away and say, "Uh, noooo."

Finally Adam makes eye contact with me! I'm sure he's thinking, "What the heck is wrong with you Kelly?" because my eyes are as big as saucers and I am trying to discretely gesture and signal to him what the heck just happened.

As soon as we escape from the subway car, I tell everyone what happened. My brother-in-law, who was born and raised in Brooklyn and has lived much of his life in New York, starts laughing hysterically. He claims that in all his years in NYC he's never had an issue on the subway.

I guess I'm just lucky that way. Yeah me, I hit the urine lottery on the crazy train.